ludmilaritz.com - Blog #motivational

How Far Will Certainty Get Us? Certainty vs. Uncertainty

Tue, 14 Jul 2020 22:46:45 +0000

How Far Will Certainty Get Us In Our Daily Lives?

Certainty is said to be an emotional state, and that it's there for survival. I suppose we all have our own definitions about certainty and it's meaning to us in our daily lives. I never personally really thought about it until I did. Though I didn't always see that I had made myself a giant shadow of certainty that was clouding everything else. As I reflect on my own personal experiences, I realize now that I was doing everything I could to attain certainty for survival yes, but also for happiness and peace. Somehow I convinced myself that certainty will get me there. I felt like if I didn't make things up in my head going the way I hoped it would go with absolute certainty, all would be lost.

I worked so hard to hide from this truth I wasn't willing to accept. When we don't accept truth we can't see the problem, and I just didn't see that's what I was doing.It's terrifying to digest, and super shocking to swallow when you fully become aware of the clear message about uncertainty; everything in life is not set in stone, accept for, as Benjamin Franklin said "death and taxes."

Looking back, I am still curious: I don't understand why I wanted everything in my life to be a hundred percent certain. Somehow I did train myself to bet my life on it.

My guess is that I was too afraid to be uncertain about my life and every aspect of it. But my life - I found out - isn't a book already written in stone; it is more like an ever going story that appears one page at a time, and no one knows exactly what will appear in the story either. Sounds like a fun story doesn't it? Imagine the excitement of reading the next appeared page of the story where you know you have no clue literally as to what you are about to read. That's how I see it now, like a magic story book always being written, always filled with twists and turns, keeping the reader excited and motivated to read the next story.

I know I am not the only one; we all feel we need to have certainty in our lives in order to feel safety and happiness. Now though, I find myself asking "Is it really so horrible to live life uncertain?" As you can see It's growing on me!

But before I got there, I went through some tough learning; as the saying goes we are our own enemies. My determination and stubbornness didn't help me either.

Years went on, and nothing ever worked out as certain as I made it up in my head to be. So much courage and strength was drained out of me because life wasn't proving to be certain whatsoever; going the way it's suppose to go based on my persuasion of certainty. It broke me, it split me, it shrunk me till nothing but exhaustion was left over. That looks something like an ice cube melting away - I was the ice cube.

I am naturally a positive person, and I have faith; which I later learned sometimes can over shadow the difference between faith, positivity, and certainty. I got to a point where I couldn't stand myself anymore, something had to be understood and dealt with. Something had to seriously change! So when I was ready to slowly but surely face uncertainty, I started to slowly but surely climb out of the deep hole I dug. The more I practiced to communicate to myself that uncertainty is okay, and I didn't have to be afraid of it anymore, the better I felt.

The most amazing part to this was when I laid down to meditate that day; I heard myself saying "here I am, here I am." That's it, nothing else; not how I was feeling in those moments of meditation, or how I should feel when it's over; good, better, relaxed, and so on. I didn't have the desire to be certain about how I needed to feel and why. I just was! I was nothing but awareness of knowing that I am. In those moments of about one minute, I was - and there was nothing else attached to that. What an incredible feeling! Every day has been getting easier and lighter as I practice enjoying uncertainty. Those are the moments that motivate me!

It's been truly a curious, challenging yet a fun journey to become friends with uncertainty. It has taught me so much! I am able to understand the difference now between certainty faith and positivity; living positively is less about being certain in life, and more about the inner state of being with our physical, emotional and spiritual self.

Faith is the complete opposite of certainty if you think about it; there are no facts or evidence to prove faith certain, unless you have had a soulful inner self experience. Even then based on how we define certainty I don't think we can prove it. I sure thought I could with everything in my life.

I was determined to prove uncertainty wrong, and I was desperate to get certainty in my pocket! But After several years of chasing, I never got there. Meanwhile what I did get is a lot of anger, anxiety, frustration, and depression. At the time I didn't see that chasing certainty what was causing me life problems. I thought I had to work harder on myself, and become even more certain. I double down harder and tougher -trying to hang on to my story I made up in my head; that everything will be as certain as I say it will be. I really did believe that certainty would get me where I wanted to go and make me happy.

It wasn't till this year that I finally was able to break free from being a hostage to certainty; I was ready to learn and peel this one wide open once and for all! I was too tired of running marathons non stop in my mind. I didn't want to be certain anymore. I literally just didn't care about it. It was in that moment when I just had no energy left to give that I was able to purge it out of my self. Afterwards, about couple days later, upon my reflections, I saw just how little if any my certainty mattered when it came to life. It never mattered how much energy I gave it, nothing changed the course of life as it unfolded. There was nothing I ever really could do other than unfold with it.

These days I don't think it's fair to believe in certainty for everything in my life anymore; it only sets me up to fail, and feel sad, angry and confused instead of living life as it will.

If you struggle with certainty, maybe these words will help you as well to live life feeling safe, happy and okay. After all, the truth is we don't know how most things will work out, but what matters is that we know we can trust ourselves to have what it takes to keep up, resolve, and continue on doing what makes our hearts sing - even when we encounter challenges. What matters is that we don't ever give up! Of course there are those times that get the better of me too, and I do my best to redirect the course back to path of well being. It's not always easy, but the more I practice, the more I have the upper hand to change my thoughts and emotions back to where I want them to be. It's certain that at times it will be challenging, while other times things will be very pleasant, but either way life will unfold one way or another - weather we want it to or not. What's great is that you will be there ready - always ready!

If you show up and practice when certainty comes knocking, your daily life will improve dramatically - the more you practice letting certainty go. Your mood will also improve as you will find yourself less angry, sad, or depressed. There will be a balance of self. Your life will be less overwhelming because you have broken down the wall of certainty; you understand how to keep it in place; till one day you might not even have to, fully accepting uncertainty in all aspects of your life. Sure would be nice wouldn't it? And it's possible to achieve!

Plus you will no longer have to worry about how exactly everything might happen as life unfolds. Instead, you will be fully in the jaws of life - in the very center of life all around you - not on the side lines trying to deal with certainty because it got the better of you. Trust me I get it, but it's worth trying!

I never thought or considered that certainty would be the very thing to dig me such a deep hole I am thankful to be out of. I am in awe of how much it took away from my safety and happiness. From my well being and peace. No one wants to be a hostage, we want to be free to fully live our lives.

I hope you find these words helpful, and I hope your life improves too as you practice letting certainty go one day at a time. I have plenty of uncertainty happening in my life right now, but at last I am now becoming friends with it.

So give your self time, think about it, and enjoy the journey as you become friends with uncertainty in your life - if you would like of course. I know it's not for everyone:)

The "Daily Six"

Wed, 03 Jun 2020 21:01:49 +0000

“To find yourself, think for yourself.”- Socrates

Everything in life has a formula to it; like in math, there are always steps to an equation we have to take to arrive at the correct result. When we are able to add the equation properly in our daily lives despite what hits us, we are able to gain more happiness, fulfillment, and purpose back into our lives. All we need is the right equation.

The Big Six A’s For Daily Living is how I keep myself on my own true path to make sure I don’t get lost while fulfilling all aspects of my life and Self. It’s my own math equation I created to keep me in check, and on the right track towards my happiness, purpose, fulfillment and dreams!

These days we have more responsibilities than ever before! Life demands endless tasks from us just to keep the lights on, and feed the family, never mind all else that’s constantly stalking us on daily basis, soaking us dry; it’s exhausting to keep up with. Nevertheless, we deserve to be healthy and happy, we deserve to do things that are not our duties, jobs, or responsibilities. We want to play! Regardless of our age, we all have dreams, goals, aspirations, and bucket lists to fulfill; we all want to live that authentic part of ourselves, but it seems to stay dormant most of the time, buried deep down inside because we don’t know how to adapt to it all: all that life demands from us daily. But it’s okay!

Not all is lost, it’s never too late. I read a news article not long ago where an elderly woman in her eighties decided to finally pick up that brush and paint something for the first time in her life; her work looked incredible, as if she has been painting all her life. I couldn’t believe that all these years, she didn’t have a chance to act on it! I am so happy to see that she did, because the truth is that we won’t always going to be here, and our authentic self wants to act before its too late!

Maybe it’s dance lessons you want to try out for once, maybe you have always wanted to try skydiving, or take up a cooking. Maybe you want to live in Hawaii or have five kids – whatever it might be live it! Don’t let yourself pass by. You deserve to live a fulfilling, full-of-purpose-and-happiness life that is your own, not just your responsibilities and duties.

The more we can adapt to all that we have these days – which is a ton to say the least – the more we are able to follow our hearts, and remain nice and close to our dreams, bucket lists and aspirations in life we want to carry out and create.

So, here is an equation of mine to help you to live your life to the fullest with mindfulness and awareness of your entire self so that you, too can experience all of life that is within you awaiting to shine.

THE EQUATION: first get centered

Sit down, close your eyes and take a breath. You are checking in with yourself to feel what is happening with you. Don’t rush, take your time; it’s when we become aware, (conscious) that we are able to slowly and gently begin to focus in on what it is that is stooping us from doing something we want, need or desire. If you need help centering yourself, I’ve added a five minute meditation video just for you at the bottom of this post.

Hold it, don’t loose what you just caught! This is a crucial point – don’t judge yourself, simply just allow whatever you just brought to the surface to be recognized with a neutral approach. Remember you are now following a formula, an equation to help you sort through everything without feeling lost or overwhelmed. You now begin your day with a daily reminder of The Big Six A’s to help you stay on the right path with your body, mind, and spirit.

Then, add these six A’s together, one after another:

Awareness – brings us to know what’s happening in our lives within. While siting there connecting to ourselves, we become aware of our entire self; our mind, our body and our spirit(soul). We become aware of what’s happening for us, to us, and without us.
Acknowledgement – Once we have our awareness, and see what it is that is having a negative affect on us and our lives, we will be able to see how its preventing us from following through something in our lives. Maybe it’s our emotional state that isn’t happy, or content, and it is driving us up the wall. Maybe it’s our spirit that was recently hurt by someone we love and care about. Perhaps it’s our physical well-being that’s tired, worn out, and weak. Whatever the reason, at this point, with our awareness (checking in) and our acknowledgement (we know what’s happening to us) we are able to move on to the next stage of the process.
Attitude – now we are at the tipping point: we have a choice to either change what we now know and are aware of, as we acknowledged it. Our attitude is what controls everything we do in life; it’s where everything is possible to either come alive or not. The choice is always ours to decide which way we want to keep on heading. We just need to remember we can’t run and hide from ourselves for ever; no matter how much we try, no matter how hard, we can’t separate ourselves from our selves.
Action – at this point, we are ready to do something about “that which we have discovered was not working for us”; for our mind, body, and soul. We focused in on it, and once we have figured out what it was; in order to better ourselves – and live healthy and happy, with no blocks – we begin to shift our understanding; knowing exactly what needs to be done to remedy the situation, and bring us back to homeostasis within. Our attitude also shifts along the way; and through doing so, we have shifted and changed our priorities. We took action so that we may become the best version of ourselves once more; giving us room, and air to do what we have always wanted, needed and desired – we are able to allow the next stage to unfold without any anxiety and fear to make your goals, aspirations and dreams happen!
Achievement – We have motivation now; we have become aware of what was stopping us; we have singled it out, and focused in on it without judgment towards ourselves. By doing so, we acknowledge it with a positive attitude, allowing us to take action as a result of feeling and understanding just how much it was taking away from our well-being. Now, we are ready; we wish to achieve that dormant idea, talent, book, class, etc.
Adaptability – just like a computer, when we first turn it back on, it goes through its own checks and balances to make sure it can do what it’s supposed to: provide us with a healthy system on which we can then practice our skills, write emails, check schedules, surf the internet, do inventory, and so on. We need the same thing during our daily lives when we wake up and turn our computers (brains) back on. We need the proper equation to turn ourselves back on properly. Using The Big Six A’s daily, you will be amazed at what happens, and how much of your life will improve, and unfold graciously and accordingly for you. After all, none of us are able to run on static, viruses, and chaos if we don’t set ourselves properly for the day to come. Reboot your system every morning.

You can always come up with your own method to aid you, and help you live happily: with fulfillment, purpose, and joy. Or you can just do what I do and use this simple Big Six A’s equation: 1) be neutrally aware, 2) honestly acknowledging, 3) have an attitude-turned-positive, 4) then take action, 5) achieve what is good, 6) and do a centering-adaptive-reboot as often as needed.

I rely on it to help me solve the ultimate achievement equation of happiness, purpose, joy and order. I use it to live all of life – the good, the bad and the ugly – no matter what. After all, life is not easy, and its never been or is going to be, but we can certainly make it better by understanding how to live our own computers.